


12
Lately I’ve been having some serious issues with writer’s block. It seems like all the time I have so many ideas just floating around my brain until I sit down to actually write. The second I pick up a pen/pencil, or sit down at the computer my brain just empties. It’s beginning to make me insane. I have all these things plotted out and notes written down, but when it comes time to turn them in to something — *poof*.
Sometimes I get lucky and can get a few words down, but then if I look them over I am horrified. I start wondering who on earth would read this? It’s worse than the worse thing I’ve ever read. (And let me tell you I have read some pretty bad writing while surfing the web, lol.) I start to freak out and think maybe writing isn’t my thing. Maybe I really don’t have the talent it takes to make people want to read what I’ve written? Then of course that starts another round of writer’s block even worse than the one before it.
I have this entire world and cast of characters that I want to introduce to the world that I just can’t seem to bring out to play. They’re banging around in my head and screaming to let them out. Then when it’s time to put up or shut up I just can’t seem to find them. It’s just so frustrating and depressing and makes me just want to scream! (Or find some time wasters that will distract me. I must say — Facebook is a double edged sword for that.)
Anyone out there have any tips to help get past the blank page? Or to get past the fear of what you are actually producing? I’m open to pretty much anything at this point to try to save some of my sanity.
05
Hi everyone!
I’d like to apologize for the long hiatus. Many things have been going on in my personal life. I won’t go in to too much detail, but I’ve had a lot of health issues and a couple of surgeries in the interim time. I’ve also lost three close family members in the space of the last couple of years that have thrown me and I have still not really absorbed their loss.
Another reason that I have been absent so long is that I’ve also had a lot of self-doubt as a writer. I have actually gotten some writing done, as well as a bit of my first novel started. After the first bit I was hit so hard with doubt of my skills that I allowed myself to be hit with the biggest case of writer’s block that I have ever had.
On the positive side, we have also welcomed a new member to our family. We have grown from a family of six to seven, and the youngest has everyone wrapped around his little finger already. Hard to believe that he is already two years old. We also welcomed a new nephew that is only a month older than our little guy. It will be great for them to be able to grow up together, though I know if my nephew is anything like my brother they will be adding some serious gray to my hair.
I have again decided that the only was that I will ever know for sure if I can make my dream come true is if I actually write. Even if what I produce is absolutely horrible, I can always clean it up in editing. I’ve realized it’s a little difficult to edit a blank page.
So with that decided, I felt my next step was to resurrect my old blog as a way to motivate myself to actually produce. Not only will it let me warm up with writing and get my creative juices flowing, but now I have people to answer to if I don’t follow through. (I figure there should be one or two of you that will call me on it if I don’t start writing about having something ready for submission.)
I have also decided that I will refocus to a smaller beginning. I plan to hone my skills on some short stories first. Then submit them to paying markets and see what the response is. My initial goal of producing a complete novel is just so large that it seemed to overwhelm me to the point that I couldn’t function. Yes, I know I will be risking rejection, but I have tried to prepare myself for it. I will not let myself be stopped, because I realize no matter how good my writing may (or may not) be, it could still be rejected for various reasons not related to what I have written. (Not the least of which may be this wonderful economy that I am sure has been effecting the writer’s market as well.)
So, that’s basically where I’m at with everything. I will be posting progress along with my usual bits of this and that. My pledge is a minimum of one post per week, though I am hoping for more. Feel free to yell at me if I don’t.
Until next week, take care everyone.
30
Whirling in the void of today
Blanketed by the comfort of yesterday
I hide in fear of tomorrow.
The uncertainty rings through
My soul is filled with quiet terror
And I huddle against the chill of my future.
I peek, just a peek
At what might be and startle.
It’s warm, so very warm,
To thaw me to the core of my insecurity.
The love, the fire, the strength,
Of what could be is powerful.
But is the power enough
To pull me from
My self imposed stasis?
03
by Heather Quarnstrom
Have you ever seen a sentence that was just so well put together that it’s the equivalent of a beautiful painting? The sentence just flows and hits something deep within you. It’s such an amazing construct that while it is something that inspires you as a writer, it also terrifies you. You feel that every word that you write has to compare to that glowing work of art.
I’ve personally spent years justifying my lack of writing with the fact that I felt what I would write just couldn’t measure up. My subconscious told me again and again that if my words weren’t comparable to one shining example or another that it just wasn’t worth my time or effort to compete. What I finally realized exactly what was stopping me and thought it through, I had an amazing realization. My writing doesn’t have to be perfect! Now, that may seem like a simple, easy to realize concept to everyone that reads this, but I guarantee that MANY struggling writers can relate.
The feeling becomes so ingrained in our minds that unless what comes out of our heads is perfect then it shouldn’t be recorded. Not only is it supposed to come out perfect, but it should come out perfect the first try. It finally dawned on me that I would never know what my writing could become because I was censoring it before I even wrote it. My mind was so wrapped up in the concept of perfection that it was strangling the creative side that puts the words together. That then virtually guaranteed that whatever I wrote, if I ever got past the terror enough to actually write, would be the exact thing I feared.
I came to the conclusion that the only way I would ever fulfill my dream of being a writer would be by silencing my inner critic, and just writing. If I didn’t worry what came out the result was not only a relief, but also amazingly freeing to my creativity. I found that sentences came to me during the strangest time. The most spectacular thing was that not only would they come to me, but they would stick around until I got somewhere I could actually write them down. Those sentences led to more sentences, which lead to paragraphs, and lo and
behold — I was writing!
The amazing thing about the technical age is the delete button. If something doesn’t come across the way I meant it, I can delete and try again. If what I write is in fact horrible and I wouldn’t even print it out to line a litter box — delete. I can even save it and go back to it another day if I want. Maybe after working on it a little bit subconsciously I will get inspired to change it to something that is worth reading. If not, I don’t worry about it. I look at it as practice for when I find something I am truly passionate to write about.
The bottom line is this — if you let yourself get so wrapped up in fear that you can’t even think about writing without hyperventilating then you have failed without even trying. Who knows – you may be the next master artist of the writing world. You’ll never know until you try.
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Heather Quarnstrom is a work at home mom of five beautiful children. She is a mother, wife, web/graphic designer, writer, and entrepreneur. If you would like to see what she is up to now, or browse a really great collection of diverse resources on the web, please stop by her site at http://www.heatherquarnstrom.com.
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